Mood:  sad

This is Ben Hisoler. These are Nicole's personal blogs from when she was diagnosed with colon cancer in July 2008 until the election in November.

My fiancée, Nicole Dolci passed away on March 31, 2009 in Hollywood, CA.   She was 34 Years of age.

She was with me and her family.

Her ashes were spread at the Hollywood Forever Funeral Home on April 4, 2009, in a beautiful ceremony on a sunny Hollywood day of close to 200 people.

On behalf of the Dolci family, Levene family and myself, I wanted to thank you for your love and support.

Even a member of her favorite band, My Chemical Romance showed up to pay respect.  There is even a tribute on www.mychemicalromance.com.

Nicole Dolci passed away after a courageous battle with colon cancer. She was diagnosed in July of 2008, and NEVER gave up.  She would want all of us to continue this fight and NEVER GIVE UP.

When she was diagnosed in July, she did not lose sight of who she really was and stuck to the plan, continuing to go to work, showing courage, love and integrity.

Just last week, she was willing to even continue to tolerate more pain to fight for a future, for a life, for our dreams, for ALL OF US, all the way, until her last breath.

Nicole would not want ANY of us to give up on all our dreams either.

She has made so many people happy.  The last seven years of my life with her were the most happy and joyful.

Please read her personal blog. I hope that it gives people inspiration to fight.

The family is asking instead of flowers to give donations to

Nicole Dolci Memorial Fund through the American Cancer Society’s Mosaic of Hope.

 
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/Nicole.Dolci

Also donations to the Humane Society

https://secure.hsus.org/01/kindred_spirits_jewelry

Other links:

Tribute Pictures on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=34087&id=707886544&ref=mf

www.benjieandnicki.com

www.ashesofrosesproductions.com  read her screenplay-She always wanted Gerard Way to play the lead...

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6vu_nteu70 Acting Demo

 
How will you remember her?

A daughter

A sister

A fiancée

A best friend

A mother to her four cats

How ironic that her favorite things in life were dark like My Chemical Romance, Edgar Allen Poe, Ravens, Titanic, Six Feet Under, Incubus, Vampires, Twilight, Dexter..

However, she was anything BUT dark.  Nicole brought life to everyone around her.  She had an amazing sense of humor.

We all had our hardest, most intense laughs with her.

Had our longest, deepest conversations with her.

Our largest roundest smiles

I first met Nicole on the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer out of all places.  Red dress.  Very cute.   She went up to me and actually trusted this dorky Asian guy to watch her belongings.   She actually liked my corny jokes.  I was smitten.

Months afterwards, we were together again playing our biggest roles yet, background monkeys on Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes.  She was a chimp and I was an orangutan.

After several comedy sketch show performances together, we then dated and eventually got engaged in front of the fountain where Ginger Rogers got married.

The last seven years were the best years of my life.  She was my family, and best of all I gained another family with Donna and Dean, Larry and Barbara and siblings, and also Mary DeVeny.

One of my favorite things is that she had a love my immediate family too, and often made fun of how loud Filipinos are, and how they would force her to eat all the time 24/7.

So, how will you remember her?

A lover

A fighter

A valedictorian

An actress

A comedienne

A loan processor

A compliance officer

A believer in free speech

A fighter for human rights

An animal lover

A My Chemical Romance Fan

A San Antonio Spurs fan

A loyal friend

BUT most importantly, she was NOT a quitter.

When she was diagnosed in July, she did not lose sight of who she really was and stuck to the plan, continuing to go to work, showing courage, love and integrity.

Just last week, she was willing to even continue to tolerate more pain to fight for a future, for a life, for our dreams, for ALL OF US, all the way, until her last breath.

Nicole would not want ANY of us to give up on all our dreams either.

So, how will you remember her?

Let’s celebrate Nicole Marie Dolci.  And celebrate how she would want us to - in your own way.

I know she would want some of us to celebrate by watching her favorite movies like Half-Baked and Harold and Kumar, (if you know what I mean) wink wink.

Finally, I wanted to finish with one of her favorite quotes from  Elton John’s “Your Song”  where he says – “how wonderful life is, while your in the world.”

We will miss you. 

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 11:08 AM EDT

Updated: Friday, 10 April 2009 3:15 PM EDT

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UPDATED POST

(these posts were not posted originally)

FOUND THEM FROM HER COMPUTER MAY 2009:

November 5: Core Fusion

I hit up the Core Fusion class at the Y after work. I felt like I was able to keep up pretty well. Someday I will have my abs back. Holding in your stomach is hard work.

November 6: *%@& Her!!!

Around this time, a fellow employee who will remain nameless had the audacity to complain to her manager about the extra time off I was receiving for my appointments. She was attempting to attach my situation to a bullshit complaint she had filed with the labor board about how people were treated differently at Pure Play.  Furious doesn’t even begin to cover how I felt. No one in upper management was the least bit sympathetic to her. They took steps to protect both myself and the company. In the meantime, I had to resist the impulse to march into her office, read her the riot act, and then choke the bitch. That didn’t last long, as she eventually got herself fired for no-showing to work for several days.  I find it hard to believe that people like this exist. If she was so jealous of my “time off,” I would have happily sent her in my stead to have toxic chemicals injected into her for six hours. I sincerely hope there is some sort of universal justice in the world. If and when her karma comes back to her, as my dear friend Bonnie says, I will pull up a lawn chair, crack open a beer, and watch the shit go down.

November 7: Slumdog Millionaire

I tackled the elliptical trainer again today, one level up.  Benjie and I hit a 9:30 screening of “Slumdog Millionaire.” It looks like it could be The Little Foreign Film That Could this year, and it is well-deserving. I’m beginning to think all movies should end with a Bollywood dance number, just to wrap things up and leave the audience feeling good and mimicking the choreography on the way out. Maybe that’s just me.

November 8: Yoga Makes Me Cry

I went to a morning yoga class at the Y. It’s very difficult to be reminded of all the things your body used to be able to do that it can’t anymore.  I shed a few frustrated tears. It’s hard to be patient, but at least I had a Leta massage waiting for me later that day. I can feel her channeling all her healing and strength when she works on me. It sounds a little woo-woo, but it’s true. I’m blessed to have someone like her, who has been through what I’ve been through, in my life.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 3:05 AM EST

Updated: Thursday, 7 May 2009 3:11 AM EDT

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Driving back from my counseling appointment, I listened to NPR and heard Obama take battleground state after battleground state. I couldn’t let myself relax yet, though. Claudia came over to watch the results. I can’t describe the feeling when shortly after the west coast polls closed at 8PM, Obama was declared the winner. We all hooted and cheered and hugged. Obama is a symbol of something different to each person, I think. He fills me with hope. If the Celtics can come back from being the worst team in the league to win the championship, and an African-American named Barack Hussein Obama can be elected president in post-9/11 America, then I can beat cancer. Crazier things happen all the time.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 3:00 PM EST

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I decided to stop taking the appetite stimulant, as I was at my normal weight and was eating rather compulsively. I didn’t need to add obesity to my list of health issues.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 2:56 PM EST

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claudia had decided to celebrate her birthday with a gospel brunch at the House of Blues.  Shawn, Lanikai, Benjie, and myself joined her. The food highlights were abundant, including cheese grits, corn muffins with maple butter, and banana bread pudding with crème anglais. Once again, I ate a ton. The gospel music was as fun and uplifting as I expected it to be. I love gospel. I think the only church I could become a member of would be an African-American gospel church.  The birthday girl had a great time and got up on stage to dance. We all left full and happy.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 12:16 PM EDT

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I ventured back to the gym today: thirty minutes on the elliptical trainer.  I didn’t run as many miles as I used to, and I didn’t crank the level up like I did before I got sick, but it was thirty minutes nonetheless. Maybe the hardest part was going to the locker room to shower and change. I’m self-conscious of my swollen belly and my scars. As shallow as it sounds, when you used to look good naked and suddenly you only look good naked from very specific angles, it’s a heartbreaker. I mourn my flat stomach and sexy midriff like good friends I’ve lost.  Maybe in time I will have them back.

I had discovered some old gift cards that still had balances, so I headed off to the mall. I found two new tops at Hot Topic that were cute and covered my port-a-cath. It’s wonderful for my veins not to be constantly stuck with needles, but the port-a-cath is a constant reminder that things aren’t normal. I bought some makeup brush wipes at Sephora, and headed off to Target to pick up my contacts and a copy of “Twilight” for Claudia’s birthday.  Then came the inevitable trip to the pharmacy, and I was home.

We hit our second Halloween party that night, at Courtney and Carissa’s.  We wore our same costumes.  I hadn’t seen either of them in ages, so it was nice to show up Gothed out and at a healthy weight.  People who are worried about me always seems relieved after they see that in most ways I’m still the same old me. The party was brimming with a young male energy that made me appreciate my 30s a lot. Courtney’s band played in the garage, and we stayed until the mosh pit broke out. Though I am a veteran of many pits, I didn’t want to get thrown around and get a nosebleed or something, so we split.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 12:11 PM EDT

Updated: Tuesday, 10 March 2009 12:16 PM EDT

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After work, I dropped by the YMCA to complete my paperwork, get my membership card, and all of that jazz. When the staff member at the desk pulled out my application, I noted that the address of my employer was, as I had thought, clearly written on the front page (Music cue: "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional).

I went home to get ready for a Halloween party at Eric and Danielle's. I really wanted to dress as a vampire, as I've been thriving on a steady diet of vampire fiction, but I couldn't find realistic fangs. I compromised and made myself a fang banger (vampire groupie) from "True Blood," complete with fang marks on my neck. Benjie wore scrubs and was "Asian McDreamy." He looked pretty damn dreamy. I ate a ton at the party, and we socialized for a couple of hours. It's strange how I feel like I'm "passing" as a healthy person around people we don't know. The good thing is they seem to buy the act.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 11:34 PM EDT

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I called the YMCA and explained my situation to the same gentlemen I spoke to before I even sent in my application.  He claimed that I was sent the wrong letter because I didn’t put down the “special circumstance” of working in Chatsworth. I was pretty damn sure that the address of your employer was required on the first page of the application. I didn’t understand why he wanted to argue with me when he was fully aware that I was going through chemo and I had even taken the time to call in advance to make sure I filled out the application properly. I was about to tell him so when he offered me a half-price initiation fee and monthly fee. I got the financial aid I wanted and he got to wave around the moderate amount of power he possesses.  In the end, I guess we both won.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 11:28 PM EDT

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My original chemo treatment plan included six treatments. This was number six. I kept my chin up. Mom and Benjie were with me. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is just to be physically present. Sometimes you don’t even need to talk.

After chemo, we went to the pharmacy. It turned into a runaround (quelle surprise!). I had ordered my colitis medicine through my mail order pharmacy, but it hadn’t arrived yet. I had my doctor call in a small amount to last until it arrived. When we got to the pharmacy, we were told that insurance wouldn’t cover it because it was already being filled by the mail order pharmacy. There was no consideration that I was without my medication. It’s not like I was selling anti-inflammatory drugs on the streets. Mom was sweet enough to cover the medicine for me. I went to my counseling appointment next and boy, did I bitch and complain. Then I went home to watch the first night of NBA basketball on TNT. I was soothed, until I opened my mail and found a letter from the YMCA saying that my application for financial aid had been denied because I didn’t live in the service area. If you will refer back to a previous entry, you will see that I was clearly told that because I worked in the service area, I was eligible. Welcome to another hassle that you don’t need, Nicole.

Posted by ashesofrosesproductions at 11:24 PM EDT

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